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Obituary Writing: It's A Dying Art!                                      2017 08 01
Lesson 022...                                                                                                 Published Monthly

Defining The Problem...
The problems associated with obituaries and their publication depend on which side of it you're on.
Researcher needs can be very different from that of close family members and of notice writer needs.

There are also availability considerations with regards to widespread or local, longterm or short.
Again, both researcher and writer may have very different ideas based on their needs or knowledge.

When all is said and done, it is ultimately the person that authorizes the publication that decides.
The best we can do is to try to inform and educate them on the subject while respecting their privacy.

Many times the writer may not have given thought to authoring someones obituary before it happens.
It may also be of the first few times they've done this and not aquainted with its "best practices".
Additionally, it's also a very traumatic and emotional moment for them within their lives.

Researchers, while prefering a full documentary, know whatever is written, is all they have.
Hopefully, accurate basic/factual data is presented along with important personal information.
Many obits (Even Tombstones!) include photograph's while others keep images from the public.


How Does This Happen?...
For most households, the occasion is usually dealt with by a few older responsible family members.
As time passes, some of them also pass away and the job is handed to others that would accept.
If none are willing, the family foregoes any remembrance until one is found to rise to the task.

The timing of a loved ones death can never be good, and high emotions make for poor judgements.
Even an expierienced "obituist" may faulter under the crushing loss of a lifetime love.
Unfortunately, there is also the opposite extreme of having no-one.

Researchers on the other hand, though not cold, are distanced from the effects of attachment.
Whether hobbiest, professional or historian, their goal is to preserve factual information.
Each persons stories are eventually filed and sorted for compilation into one.

Family Historians/Genealogists look for reliable information from family and documents.
Accuracy above all is essential, and missing information is NOT assumed.
If unavailable, that part of their life may be forgotten forever.


What Can Be Done To Fix This?...
The first step is to try to educate the writer or person placing the obituary as early as possible.
While not always practical, it sometimes falls to the time of the actual writing.
One method might be to occassionally mention good writings.

Not everyone is interested in genealogy, but most are interested in their family.
The things that family history buffs mention, may one day be recalled when needed.
Early discussions may be anything from obituary readings to pre-planned layout descriptions.

Though many remember someone basically "as last they saw them", an obituary is a short history.
As the writing progresses through a chronological order, we begin to remember their lives.
Not only does this keep them in our hearts, it also lends credibility and accuracy.

Whether writer or researcher, having the information flow from birth to death naturally is appreciated.
It's easy to see the difference whenever you encounter a more emotional chaotic rendition.
While understandable, the loved ones achievements or importance are forgotten.

So all-in-all, it seems the best preparation is in itself the preparation. No matter how minimal it is!
At the very least, several "do-overs" can be performed before submitting the final copy.
This can help bring an order to their history and perhaps a memory as well!


Where Can We Find Their Life's Data?...
Start with simple items such as birth, marriage and death dates, perhaps retirement as well.
Add the important people to their lives starting with parents, spouse and children (And spouses).
Grandchildren and great-grandchildren follow next with nieces and nephews at the last if so desired.

Some small space should be alloted for the high points of their life.
Care should be taken not to overshadow the close people that were listed beforehand.
Awards, achievements, memberships and activities are an important description of who they were.

When closing the obituary, list the funeral arrangements date/time, place of burial and donations.
This helps people plan their goodbyes, and gives closure to those who cannot attend.
Never assume that a person didn't care simply because they didn't attend.

All of the items shown above should be easily attainable by whomever was closest to them.
Even drivers license, magazine subscriptions and social media can piece them together.
This is the final evidence of their existance on this earth so they are not forgotten.


What Did We Learn From This?...
There is no mandate regarding having an obituary notice or even what must be in it.
Items are subject to approval by the submitter (Usually the closest relative/or mortician if none).
The one rule is that they are usually not altered later, whether accurate or not-Except by Addendum.

We should educate ourselves and those around us to the importance of obituaries and their contents.
Even those with extreme privacy issues can come to understand the importance of remembering.
The sooner the topic is discussed, the better aquainted all will be when they are called upon.

The primary factors surrounding obituaries are family privacy, data accuracy and longterm availability.
Finding the information is not difficult, as most close relatives will already know the data.
Someone must take the initiative to collect and assemble the information.

A chronological order of events works best for writer, reader and historian alike.
The deceased can be better understood with a progressive storyline from birth to death.
Regardless of expierience, following the basic guidelines will make for good genealogical work.

For many of us, doing this may be a scary thought as we do not want to let down a loved one.
Though "normal", this is far from the truth, and in reality considered anything but accurate.
It is an honor and a privelege to be the one selected to memorialize a loved one forever.



The Basic Rules...
First...
Educate yourself and others about the importance of obituary notices.
Understand its immediate impact for closure as well as its longterm genealogical benefits.

Second...
Be aware of the importance of privacy issues while recording them for history.
Put in only as much information as you are comfortable being available to everyone online.

Third...
List the information in a chronological order, starting with the deceased's parents.
Note life events such as birth-marriage-death followed by the important people in their lives.


As always...
What you'll choose to do with this information is up to you.
It will at least serve as a stepping stone for further knowledge.
You should be applauded for your willingness to educate yourself.

These are only basic guidelines, and can always be adjusted to suit your personal needs or budget.
Hopefully the knowledge gained here will help you to be better positioned as a family historian!

      Happy searches!!

        Massachusetts

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